Rebuilding trust

The loss of trust is a very painful experience. It often involves a lot of hurt, confusion, anger, and sadness.

Dealing with these emotions is critical when trying to rebuild trust. When upset, we want our partners to understand our point of view - to understand our feelings and emotions.

Understanding how we feel is important because it helps us deal with our negative feelings and move beyond them.

If a partner does not take the time to make us feel understood - we try to get even - we try to make our partners feel as bad as we do. Even though it sounds childish, when someone does not understand our hurt or pain - we try to make them feel what we are feeling (this is often an unconscious response). Not feeling understood, often leads to a game of inflicting mutual hurt.

In most cases, partners do not take the time to make us feel understood because they do not know how to do it OR because they get defensive (feel under attack).

When accused of wrongdoing, people often try to...

* apologize

* offer excuses and explanations

* withdraw

* or even attack back...

These strategies do NOT work because they fail to create real understanding. Simply put, people need to feel understood before apologies are offered and explanations are given. It is virtually impossible to rebuild trust until people who have been harmed feel understood.

So, when trying to build or repair trust - it helps to see the situation from a partner's point of view. Try to understand why the other person is so upset - directly acknowledge his or her feelings ("you are angry, hurt, confused") and his or her interpretation of the situation ("and, you have every right to be upset, because what I did was wrong.")

You basically have to agree that the other person's feelings are legitimate and fair - let the other person know that you get it. If you can do this, trust is going to be much easier to regain.

If you can make someone feel understood when they are upset, they are more likely to...

* calm down

* forgive you

* feel closer

* listen to your side of the story...

If you don't take the time to understand your partner's feelings, rebuilding trust is much more difficult to do. But, once you make a partner feel understood, it becomes possible to offer an effective apology.

Why does love drive people crazy

If you talk to two persons - one who has never felt love, and other who is deeply in love, you will find them talking in a very different way. If you ask a person who has never loved about what he/she felt about the other's talk, the answer will be - crazy!

Is it true? Does love drive one to madness? It may not be madness as understood by psychiatrists, but a madness of emotions. Is that right? Why does love do that? To understand this, we have to explore more about love or romance. Is it friendship? Is it physical attraction? is it just liking for each other? What is love and what is this relationship all about? Love combines all these and goes much beyond in bonding. Lovers are bonded to each other emotionally and totally. A lover cannot imagine of a life without his/her beloved. A lover will suffer like a fish suffers without water, if he/she is separated from the beloved. Love becomes the whole life. Love gives life. Love becomes the reason of life. Life begins and ends with love. That is love. And that's why people call love mad!

How and why a lover feels like this for one's beloved is beyond any logical explanation. There is no arithmetic sum that can decide this. It is all emotional. And the emotions are so overwhelming that they engulf the whole personality. Why does a flower look lovely to all of us? Why are we attracted by the sight of a beautiful sunset? Why do we love to walk on the beach? Do we know? Can we answer these questions? Our only answer may be that - I feel happy doing it. A lover feels happy, rather so happy in love that it cannot be compared with any other happiness. One forgets one's pains, one's pleasures and one's existence when in love.

Fall in love if you still haven't and feel the madness. You will get a clue to why true lovers are called mad.

Avoid personal disintegration from a broken marriage with hypnotherapy for break ups and divorce

When we fall in love and experience the first blush of romance, it seems to us that life couldn’t be better. The world seems perfect and rosy, and we cannot bear to think of ever living without our partner. Yet, the reality is that more often than not there is trouble in paradise; after a period of time spent together, the rosy hue dissipates only to be replaced by a sepia toned world. The divorce rates have gone up around the world in the last few years, and break ups are as common as the housefly! Research says that almost 49% of the marriages end up in divorce within the first 7 years in the US; globally, one out of every three married couples is headed for Splitsville. A separation of such a kind is very difficult to handle for any person; feelings of anger, depression, nervous breakdowns and disillusionment are what people experience in general. Though such a situation is a bitter pill to swallow, we have to do it…and do it with dignity. Hypnotherapy for break-ups and divorce can help you pass over this phase with less pain and more self-respect. Here’s how.

After separating with our partner, it is crucial for us to find hope, and to move on. The more you mope around the more harm you bring upon yourself. It is no mean feat to come through a divorce with your head held high; it can be a Herculean task in times like these to have positive thoughts. To some of us, a break up or divorce can seem like the end of the world. If it does, you are not to blame because it indeed is a very painful situation and one that can let loose a slew of negative emotions. Here’s where hypnotherapy for break-ups and divorce comes in. Hypnotherapy is a mode of relaxation in some ways, a means of soothing your aching heart and caressing your troubled mind. Hypnotherapy for break-ups and divorce helps you draw strength from within yourself, so you can bid goodbye to the anti-depressants and the sleeping pills. It empowers you with self-healing through positive energy and suggestions. In traumatic times such as these, it gives you the direction that you might badly need.

Hypnotherapy for break-ups and divorce helps you address the negative emotions that fester within you during such times. A session with a responsible therapist will let you identify the exact feelings and work your way around them. You have to realize that even after a divorce life goes on; if there are children involved their future depends on you. Life can be tough, especially with the practicalities that face you after a divorce; however, it is only you who can indeed redeem yourself in such a situation. Through techniques of relaxation, positive thoughts and auto suggestion you will learn how to cope with the anger & bitterness you are feeling. It will help you reduce your stress and help you put your life back together. Sometimes it happens with us that we can’t see things clearly when we are too close to it, you can even call it blindsiding; with hypnotherapy for break-ups and divorce, you distance yourself from the painful situation and learn to look at it objectively. It could be the best remedy when you are faced with troubled times like these.